Top Signs of a Cheating Spouse
In relationships there are sometimes suspicions of one partner's commitment, their ability to be faithful and their values of honesty, integrity and openness. There are several possible reasons for a cheating partner or cheating spouse; such as boredom, an overactive libido, ego, personality traits, fear of commitment, addiction to sex and various other reasons. Often the cheating spouse or partner will not disclose their infidelity due to anxiety of the consequences, love for the other person, a desire to keep their current relationship and other perceived or real concerns. This inability to be honest about their indiscretions is one of the major reasons people hire a private investigator.
What to Look for in a Cheating Partner or Cheating Spouse
A deceptive or cheating spouse or cheating partner may display some of the following signs, although one or two of these signs alone may not be a strong indication of a cheating partner, as there could be another explanation.
- Changes to Sex Life
A cheating wife, husband or partner may initiate a change to the quality and duration of sex within the relationship.
- They may no longer want to have sex or make excuses not to
- When having sexual relations they seem distracted and disinterested
- The duration of the act changes and they may seem in a hurry to get it over with
- There is a sudden need for aids such as toys or pornographic materials to initiate arousal
- Affection and love become absent from sexual relations e.g. lack of kissing, touching and eye contact.
- The cheating spouse or partner suddenly has strange or 'kinky' requests
- Avoidance and Secretive Behaviours
A cheating spouse or cheating partner may seem distant, protective and overly secretive about their daily activities.
- The cheating partner no longer allows their partner access to their electronic devices such as their computer, mobile phone, PDA etc
- There are excessive passwords and hidden files on their electronic devices
- The cheating spouse is signed up to match making sites or have visited these sites
- Their partner is prohibited from answering their phone if it rings
- Their electronic devices are on them at all times and are even brought into the bathroom or toilet
- They often stay up late to 'work' or 'play' on their computer
- All receipts, credit card statements, phone bills and pay slips are hidden or locked away
- Their diary and planners are off limits
- The cheating spouse makes excuses as to why their partner should not visit them at work or call
- They do not wear their wedding rings or jewellery that was bought for them and make excuses for this behaviour
- Emotional Blackmail
A cheating husband, wife or partner often becomes emotionally unstable through feelings of guilt, fear, paranoia and anger. This often leads to emotional blackmail making the cheated spouse feel they are in the wrong.
- The cheating spouse becomes excessively paranoid and has the tendency to explode into an argument if they are questioned
- They are either extremely nice or nasty
- The cheating partner often treats their partner with disdain, disrespect or excessive sarcasm.
- They become angry and irrational at almost everything and are defiant and unwilling to explain any concerns
- They demonstrate indifference or don't seem to care about the relationship
- They withhold affection and are reluctant to accept affection
- The focus is shifted to the partners flaws and faults in an attempt to justify the affair
- The cheated spouse is made to feel crazy and paranoid for wanting to discuss anything with them
- The other partner is often the one accused of being unfaithful due to paranoia from a guilty conscience
- Distance and Length of Time Away
A cheating husband or cheating wife often becomes elusive and is never around both emotionally and physically.
- They are constantly hours late and make excuses to explain lengthy absences
- They often have to work late and have various important tasks which are completed at odd hours
- They suddenly have new obligations that take them away from home repeatedly or for long periods of time
- They are often meeting with the same work colleague or friend of the opposite sex and are defensive of this relationship
- They seem distant and don't seem to be listening
- They forget things and are unable to explain why they did not do a task they were supposed to do
- Specific Signs of a Cheating Husband
A cheating husband will display some unique signs when cheating on his wife with another female lover.
- He seems to suddenly take more pride in his appearance
- His standard of dress is not normal for where he claims he is going
- He arrives home smelling faintly of perfume or another person's body
- He heads straight to the shower when arriving home before greeting his partner
- He has lipstick or makeup on his clothing or personal effects
- There are long hairs of a different nature to his partners on his clothing or in his car
- He suddenly purchases condoms and/or carries them around
- He gets caught purchasing a gift that he wouldn't normally buy for his partner and acts suspiciously
- His credit card statements show purchases such as jewellery, perfume, female clothing etc that his partner has not received
- His credit card statements show accommodation and dinner purchases for two which his partner was not a part of
- There are belongings such as lingerie, make up, hair brushes etc in his car that do not belong to his partner
- He seems to notice other women and may make comments about their appearance or flirt with them more than usual
- He is spending a lot more money which is unaccounted for
- Specific Signs of a Cheating Wife
A cheating wife will also display some unique signs when cheating on her husband with another male lover.
- She dresses more provocatively then usual
- Her dress standard does not seem to suit the place that she claims she is going
- She tends to flirt more with other men and seems to always be looking at other men
- She arrives home smelling of men's cologne or another person's body
- She showers excessively especially when coming home from being out
- There are short hairs of a different nature to her partners on her clothing or in her car
- She seems to be receiving or buying herself a lot of gifts which are not explainable e.g. flowers, chocolates, lingerie
- There are belongings such as gym bags, cigarettes, male clothing etc in her car that do not belong to her partner
These are just some of the signs to look for when suspecting a cheating partner, wife or husband. Although some of these signs in isolation do not strongly indicate a cheating partner, several of these signs in combination may be a strong indicator. Concerns or suspicions of infidelity may be founded or unfounded but often the worst thing about the whole situation is the unknown. Private investigation is one of the most popular methods for confirming or dismissing these suspicions in an objective and discreet manner.
For a free no-obligation quote for Private Investigators in Melbourne or Victoria call the ASAC Group: 0413 413 011 or Submit an online form
